Week 3 after surgery.

Last week started out on a high and ended with a low. Tuesday I had the last of my 4 drains pulled and it felt so good to be free of those horrible things! Luke took me to lunch to celebrate. Tuesday afternoon I had my post op appointment with my oncologist. I could tell instantly that she had to deliver more news than 'your good to go and all see ya in 6 months'...which was what I was hoping for. Instead she let us know that the cancer was removed but when they removed it, it was close to the skin and it had moved into a nerve by less than a millimeter, but it showed that it was an aggressive cancer. She said I have to have radiation now so that they can make sure no lingering cancer cells are left in my breast tissue and then she said the dreaded C word. She told us we were waiting on one more test result called the oncotype test. It tells you what your recurrent risk is. She said it would determine if I needed chemo and we would just wait to hear what the result was. I kind of felt like I was being diagnosed all over again. I was in shock and thank goodness Luke was there because I don't think I heard anything else she was saying after that. Even though I had both of my breasts removed, there is a chance the cancer can come back somewhere else in my body. So, Luke and I went home and stayed up late talking about it. Luke is really good at talking me down because I was having a panic attack and was hoping it was all just a dream. I had to wait until Friday to hear the results. So Friday the dr. called and said my Oncotype score was 37. there is a High, Medium and Low percentage and the high range is 30 and above. So I am in the high range...but the low end of the high range. She told me that chemo is recommended for my 37 number. I have a dr. appt with a different oncologist who specializes with chemo drugs on wednesday. At that appointment I will get some answers and I am hoping a plan to fight any lingering cancer cells. Thursday I have an appointment with the radiology oncologist...Yes, I have 3 oncologists now. That oncologist will tell me all about the radiation I will need. So, I am not looking forward to this week but I am looking forward to having a plan. My dr. said the plastic surgeon will fully expand me until I get to be as big as I want and then they can do radiation. After radiation you have to wait 6 months instead of 6 weeks to get the final implants. I don't think I have cried so much or experienced such gut wrenching pain as I did last week. I know that radiation and Chemo is to prevent any cancer from coming back but Im really scared of the Chemo.
This weekend we were busy, so that helped get my mind off of things. Friday night we had my office christmas party. No one took any pictures, but we had a nice dinner and it felt good to get dressed and leave the house. Josie went with her friend Isabel and her dance instructor to a christmas tree lighting where they danced around a christmas tree and then made graham cracker houses.

Saturday Josie had 2 dance performances. They dance at 2 retirement centers and entertain the residence. Josie's first dance was a christmas macarena.

Josie and Isabel

Here is Josie and Isabel's clogging routine.

Every time I tried to video the girls, the same big guy would come sit right in front of me:) It became pretty comical.

The second retirement center has a Lab that lives there and his name is Luke. He was there last year too.

 After the dances were over we headed up to the mountain. The kids picked up there new team jackets and tried out their new ski's. Luke went out with them in the morning while I sat in the Lodge. It was hard to have to sit there and not get to go out with the kids, but It was just for a few hours.

 It was a nice change of scenery. It was a really nice sunny day.

 Landon got a new speed suit this year because he grew out of this old one. He wears it every time he ski's.

 We came back to the condo and the kids played outside while Luke packed up. It's hard for me to sit around and not be able to help, but Luke does a great job.

We came home to another great meal train meal. White bean chicken chili with cornbread and a plate of brownies.
Today I went back to my plastic surgeon...which is way more fun than the oncologist. She put a needle in the side of my boob and sucked all the air out of my expanders. When they place the expanders they fill them with air. After a while the air leaks out so they take out the air and replace it with saline. It felt like a big charlie horse in my boob when she sucked out all the air, but as soon as she started putting saline in, it felt way better. Now every 10 days I go in and get a fill up until Im as big as I want to be. It's so strange, but even having saline instead of air in my boobs makes me feel and look a little less alien like! I got the ok to increase my range of motion and have an appointment with a physical therapist on monday. She also said I can start increasing my heart rate and working out again as long as I don't flex my peck muscles...This means I don't have an excuse to sit in my recliner and binge watch TV shows anymore.